Leaking taps have probably caused more bloodshed than people realise. It is an incessant noise that occurs in the background and hence it is not at the forefront of your awareness. This does make leaking taps any more bearable, in fact, this is what gives leaking taps their power. People listen to them dripping away and without realising why they are becoming more and more agitated, much like a pressure cooker that has been forgotten on the stove.
Eventually you are going to explode, hopefully you are alone in the room when this occurs and it is not a case of some poor soul walking in whistling a tune. This tune would ordinarily not bug you but because of the devil leaking taps you are unwittingly balanced on a knife edge and this poor soul has no idea. You cannot help yourself and you end up flying off the handle and reacting as if this person has just insulted your baby girl.
We should not ever underestimate the power of leaking taps. The drip noise that we associate with leaking taps is the basis for one of the oldest Chinese torture methods known to modern man. This fact alone should make you realise just how evil leaking taps can be.
The Chinese are one of the oldest civilisations around. They are the people who gave mankind gunpowder and made numerous other contributions to modern society. This implies and denotes just how intelligent the Chinese are as a race. They came up with so many different forms of torture in the thousands of years of their existence, and yet the one that still is at the forefront of anyone’s mind is water torture. That is correct: of all the ingenious ways that they figured out to torture people and ensure that they really suffered, leaking taps still ranks as number one.
So the next you pass a leaking tap do yourself and everyone else a favour and either close that tap properly or attempt to fix it yourself. In the event that it requires specialist attention, get a plumber over as quickly as possible because you could be saving a life or at the very least someone’s sanity.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."
- Isabel G - 1 July 2023
- Jonathan H - 1 July 2023
- Miriam J - 1 July 2023